She does not survive limbo well this woman. In fact the last time she had to she almost self destructed. She only survived it that time because she was propped up by many shining stars.
She realised things were not great. She voluntarily put herself in limbo because she saw no other way. She was proud of herself this time. She had taken that step back, and here she was in limbo again, but with the ability to function, to laugh, to smile. She thought perhaps this part of growing up wasn't so bad, she's learning to deal with grace. She was keeping her head while her heart was in flux. She was alright.
Then today arrives and she realises that all this time she has been ok because she has been dealing with the logical part of limbo. The part that makes sense. The practicality of it all. And that now her heart needs to catch up. Herein lies the difficulty.
She wishes it were different, that she believed he would be able to get past this. She still hopes, she after all sees the glass half full. She sees him, flaws and all. She loves parts of him. She is not so sure about the other bits as she worries that they may not survive these bits together. She is in some ways scared of him. She is sad that they may decide to part. She wants to clap, but it takes two hands. And his hand is too bitter and too insecure to meet hers.
She aches.
Image courtesy of CrazyFast on Flickr.
She realised things were not great. She voluntarily put herself in limbo because she saw no other way. She was proud of herself this time. She had taken that step back, and here she was in limbo again, but with the ability to function, to laugh, to smile. She thought perhaps this part of growing up wasn't so bad, she's learning to deal with grace. She was keeping her head while her heart was in flux. She was alright.
Then today arrives and she realises that all this time she has been ok because she has been dealing with the logical part of limbo. The part that makes sense. The practicality of it all. And that now her heart needs to catch up. Herein lies the difficulty.
She wishes it were different, that she believed he would be able to get past this. She still hopes, she after all sees the glass half full. She sees him, flaws and all. She loves parts of him. She is not so sure about the other bits as she worries that they may not survive these bits together. She is in some ways scared of him. She is sad that they may decide to part. She wants to clap, but it takes two hands. And his hand is too bitter and too insecure to meet hers.
She aches.
Image courtesy of CrazyFast on Flickr.
1 comment:
this is beautiful.
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