Malam... Terdengar sepantun lagu...

I have been struggling for a post that describes the current flux my life is in... then I listened to this song and some things fell into place.

My dear Adopted Bruneian this one is for you.

For reminding me, with this song, that at the end of the day the deepest parts of my soul whisper in Malay.

For your warmth, your humour and most of all your Friendship that knows no bounds.

And you will make Milo ping for me on my 75th birthday right?

Malam by Shades

Malam...
Terdengar sepantun lagu
Irama di malam syahdu
Gaya nada rindu

Oh! Malam...
Hati resah raya sunyi
Jiwaku resah dan sepi
Waktu Malam Hari

Jangan sedih hati
Oh, Janganlah rasa pilu
Senyum... Senyum bunga
Kuntum, Mekar segar dan mengharum

Oh ! Malam...
Sungguh kau berseri seri
Wajahmu di malam hari
Hilang rindu hati

Jangan sedih hati
Oh, Janganlah rasa pilu
Senyum... Senyum bunga Kuntum
Mekar segar dan mengharum

Oh! Malam....

this girl...

This girl is back.

This girl is drained.

This girl is changed.

This girl is lost.

This girl is tired of playing the game.

This girl has had enough.

"You can't kill my spirit, it's my dreams you take" says the song.

But without the dreams, what is this girl?

Image courtesy of nomad9491 on Flickr.

the rainbow

Buddy,

I know it's been unbelievably hard. Too many nights wondering if this was in fact the right thing to do, wondering how long the rope will hold and if i even want to hang on...

But then I'm reminded on nights like this, why I looked at you that first night and saw in your eyes possibility.

Did I fall in love with you that night? No I did not. The Disney princess in me expected more fireworks. But it was everything I wanted and nothing I expected. I know that I have fallen in love with you since. I have almost fallen out of love with you on a number of occasions too *grins* but that means I have had the pleasure of getting to know you all over again. and I am blessed.

and the possibilities are still endless.

photo courtesy of RozzieM on Flickr.

kaleidoscope

To You,

Because I miss you but I hate you.

Because I want you to fall flat on your face and be lonely and depressed and alone, like how I was when you were so willing to leave, But I want things to work out for you and I want the sun to shine on your path.

Because I'm very much over you but still can't forgive the hurt.

You are to me a kaleidoscope, that i pick up in fear and fascination.

Too many facets, just too many.

Give me strength

It has been a taxing month. I never realised before this just how much time I need to myself to keep myself sane. It's a good day when I spend an hour at home other than sleeping time at the moment. Time to myself is restricted to the time I spend getting ready in the morning. Many many hours are spent with a lot of people who exist on a different planet to me. Lack of sleep and too much work means it's that little bit harder to smile and be reasonable. "Make the stupid people shut up" says my brain through a clenched grin.

But I'm good. The sadist in me is strangely enjoying the experience. I am learning more about being Bruneian and Malay and I can honestly say I am developing a real pride in this little nation of mine.


"The will of God will never send you where the grace of God cannot keep you"


Have faith and stay true little heart of mine...