on letting go

it's a sad fact of life that as you grow you have to let go of certain people and certain things.

the recent episode with adopted Bruneian is a prime example of why you really should do this. there if nothing else was a prime example of someone who just couldn't let go. couldn't see that it had nothing to do with him. in not letting go he lost things. perhaps he would have lost them anyway, but it would have been done better. less hurt. more dignity.

Rapunzel came to mind this morning. She was such a big part of my teenage years. i remember the one fight we had back then and how it ended with both of us in tears telling the other how hurt we were but how much we loved and missed the other. if only it were now so easy.

Rapunzel had a hard time adjusting to being home. I called regularly, checked up on her regularly. I remember this because I regularly felt hurt by the refusal to see me when she was so happy to see everyone else. I tried asking her what was wrong, if she wanted to talk about it, if she was upset with me. I received no response.

in January just gone it was the 2nd Muskateer wedding. Nut of all people *grin* and i thought we were on our way to making up. despite the distance to her i felt that night i thought it was a start. i have since sent her messages to get her to meet me to talk it out. again no response.

the truth is different to everyone, and i wonder what the truth of this whole matter is to her. perhaps it is simply that we grew apart. i couldn't give her what she needed and in her hurt at this, she hurt me.

i don't harbour resentment. i miss her. i wonder what she's up to. but i've also come to terms with the fact that perhaps i'll never understand. i can't understand without her and she doesn't want me to.

so i let go.

there is more grace in this than in kicking and screaming for an answer.

you just got to hope that for every thing you let go of something else comes along to take it's place.

Photo courtesy of Emerging Design & Photography on Flickr.